Finally... Mickey back to my own place again.

I really feel that I’m such a bad and lazy person, again had been leave this space for few months, and if you are my blog supporter (I got supporter meh? Haha), then you will know it is pretty simple when I start to blogging again. Yes, there are something had happen and make me feel kinda emo. Indeed this time I’m okay with it, maybe this is the sign of mature.

 

This few week I got plan to continue my study, have a rough plan (but not details and don’t have any action yet at the moment, as I’m always the procrastinate one). I had start looking at few schools, comparing the courses and administration fee, and if everything going smooth, I may start it in September. 

Last few week sister told me my house want to get an air-cond, because the weather is too hot recently. My sister said wants me to share for the cost and of course with totally no any objection I agree with it. After that, my mum called me, she told me to don’t let my bro and sister know, she don’t want me to share, because she worry that my income not enough to cover my expenses in KL. Actually I’m not as ‘poor’ or cham as what mum thinking, I’m great here and no matter how, I’m still the one she worry the most. This is just a simple example, and maybe it do not mean so much thing for other people, but for the main character itself in this case, the feeling is not so simple to descrice in just a few sentences.

Things changed also causing my plan to change. I still not sure whether I still want to continue my plan or not.

Words from your letter tend to killing me, and what doesn’t kill me make me stronger… haha. I believe I’m more strong, a lot more stronger compare to last time, that I still remember I cried like a kitty miao from his house. Finally, sorry Snowy, I love you.

Right or Wrong? 12 September 2012

Study hard, graduate, working, get your house and car, marry, get your baby, retire and totally retire… this is the very common path that most of the people think that this is the path that suppose we all need to go through. However, for me, this is not necessary for the life to go like this; it can be just anything to what you like to be, and where I want it to go. Some people can stand strong at the point, and tell me I’m wrong, tell me I’m not in the situation yet, I not know how important is the these mean to you and your family. Maybe I will start to understand it, but definitely this is not now, and they will say why you don’t prepare it for the raining day.

new bear from my badminton friends, birthday present

Work hard, sacrifice your time to support your family and parents, this will never goes wrong, and I totally agree with it, but I wonder, how many actually ask your what your family want, the think you think that it suppose is their need, and you assume they need it. You maybe will tell me if you ask them, they sure say no need. If you really think like this, then how they going to express the ‘real’ no need?

with this too, together from them.. Thanks. Picture out of topic... :P

I may be wrong, and I’m not standing very strong in my point, just if the sacrifices is worth and in the path is right, I will always support you. Life can be simple for self if you are alone, but most of the time we are not, included me. I love my parents.

New life 24 June 2012

I Went Singapore with family last month, follows by Phuket, Krabi business trip with colleagues for Autodesk event. This is the first time for me in these two places, and for me this 2 trips actually didn’t much excite me, treat this as an experience to see the outside world and how the rest of the world is doing. My hand phone was spoiled during the trip in Krabi because of the milk is leaking out from the bottle, and my laptop having virus infection too at the same time. If this happen on me last time, I think I will get mad, but this time surprisingly I’m quite calm with the condition with pretty well done, good boy. My friend temporary borrowed me his extra phone, I will get my new phone in this coming week or weeks. 

Join marathon run with friends today, able to complete the 10km route in within 1 hour 25 mins. Is a bit slow because I’m wearing the wrong shoes for running. This is the forth times i join marathon, the first one is the Penang Bridge run, Hong Leong run in Laguna Merbok and last is the Pre-U school running. 

Recently had been tightened with work and loss of direction, hopefully all will going fine. Quite satisfy with the life recently, feel very dependable, with a gang of good same type of friends… The badminton section in every Friday is really excite me, give me momentum through all the boring and lame working weekday. Hope everything continue to go fine and smooth, again, let life flow. 

Let cry 8 May 2012

Still remember when I was young, if grandma win a price in lottery, she will treat all of us, grandson, together with other relatives KFC. Of course now we can eat KFC whenever we want, but if we look back about 20 years ago, KFC consider a luxurious thing for us. Also, grandma bought us toy, I remember when I was young, I like ladybird a lot, I picked ladybird toy, my bro get a toy car, and my sister get a toy with music. Only my sister one is still around with us. Even my grandma had passed away last week. I didn’t had even one drop of tear during my grandma funeral, but when I start to think about this and writing this blog… since when I didn’t cry, I almost forgot this feeling. Grandma got her own chagrin… rest in peace. 

I’m always the late one, friends said me I’m blur, even slow response. Even now only I think of my grandma… who know me best? I not even know myself. Love and hug.

Thing to let go 24 November 2011

First time I hesitate to make decision to go back, I’m not prepared to face it now, I know I cannot avoid that, but now is not the right time. Forgive my timid…

A deep talk after a month, start to realize that most of the time I just look thing from my own angle, but you just same like me, nothing different. We growth from different background, have different kind of life for more than 20 years… but at least I finally can make my own conclusion, satisfy with it, and maybe this is the time to let it go.

I try to put you down, it start and goes not too perfect, but I wish it have a nice ending. Thank for this one month, time for me to have a great start, and more mature, hopefully that is not too late.

Goodbye my love ED

Last, just realize that no one actually reading my blog, that’s good but if still any of you seeing this, can drop me a sms: BLOG to my handphone, and come to claim your present. :)

Old song 22 November 2011

Found a file with more than 10gB of old song inside it. Is not really too old, just about 5 years back, the time I start to have my own personal computer, start to have all my song in the pc. Not really understand the lyric that time, that are all my favorite song that I almost play it every night when I in my hostel in University. Life all the time is pretty simple, I’m so innocent, pure and virgin… my mind is simple as well, won’t mess up like now…

You break my silent, I just a boy that time, I not know the rule of the game, I step in and I seeking for protection, I am so brave at that time… I hate you, you can play with other, but please don’t play with a boy which don’t know how to play the trick, that is his whole life, you cannot effort that.

The boy dead finally, he become a man.

A old song recall all my memories. I hate you, and I hate myself too, I want to go back to where I come from.

I thought I already recover, but in real I’m not, who am I. I cry again.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WjchKArQ-yw

now I understand the lyric

Kitchi Miao is a Monster 27 October 2011

Everyone treat kitchi miao like a monster, finally I completely rupture in the moment, please give me a way to walk through, a momentum to breath.

Decision-made 26 October 2011

I seldom make decision, up from the small decision from decide what we going to have lunch to any big decision that will cause a great move or change of my life. Few big decisions I made before, and today seem I have it another one. It is not difficult to know that I had struggled quite a moment inside myself before the day, and looks back to some small previous incident like what happen to my motorbike last week, I found that myself actually loss of control, cry not only direct to the case happened, but a lot of link crossed together, from my personal problem, family issue and more… cause me to crumble. I’m looking for sense of security, the feeling of home… that I hope that I can have it from…

I’m sorry that I’m too selfish and immature, and my last minutes of hesitation. Way to learn and I promise I will take care of myself in the world that I have worry with. Feeling loss, loss of centre of gravity… I cannot concentrate for the moment.

I will learn to become a better one, but before I adjust and find back myself, it is not fair to anyone. Take a break for myself and you, I guess I will very soon come out from there, … Hug and help me to take a good care of yourself, thank you.

Motorbike 23 October 2011

Last few days, raining heavily and makes the soil at the place I park my motorbike becomes loose and my motorbike fell down for two times. Front parts cracked, and this makes me think back a lot of thing about this motorbike. This motorbike was bought by my lovely father to me when I in form 4, that is about 9 years ago. Before I got my motorbike, I take school bus to the school, and I still remember I don’t like to take the school bus because of few reasons.

Even this is only a motorbike, but this take few months saving from my parents, and my father is just a little contractor, with less than 2k income per month, to support five in the family, just wonder how can my parents do that, even now my first salary after graduate is greater than it, but I cannot even give more money to my parents every month, salute to my parents and I knew that is not easy for the way. I love my family, I love it because of it be.

My Bro Convo 30 September 2011

Last week I went back hometown for my brother’s convocation. So fast it already one year after mine. Is a very happy days with my family, I really like the feeling of warmest from my family member, the most enjoyable part is the raining time at about end of the convo section. Snapped some photo too, our happy family photo. If not mistaken, I remember there is only one family photo taken when I was about in primary school, then follow by sister’s convo, then mine and last my bro. My mum and my dad wish that 3 of us can study at least to university, even nowadays graduate from university is nothing so proud of it if compare to 20 years ago, but at least we did and realize it. :) Happy Family ^^

With my junior

Can u find me?

Having some conflict with the special one, and this time is the intense one among these few years. For me that is only a small issue, but the source of ignition is came from the accumulation of many small issues that we skipped and ignored previously. I realize that that is like a mirror, what you mention on is exactly what I want to mention on the same at you. I ready to apologies on thing that I did wrong, and I admit it. Again I realize that SMS or MSN conversation is emotionless, the same statement can pronounce differently with different accent, and carrying different meaning. Is a lesson to learn, and to go further. As long as the most important thing is there with us, I believe it can be solved even with the chaos raised.

My space 17 September

Quite some time I leave of my blog, have no idea with the title and I gave it a name, My Space. Had a long holiday at home during the Raya week, nothing special, but I really enjoy the peaceful with my family. Every I go back home, I can feel the different every time. Some special moment I like for my latest back to home are we go the opera for ghost festival. That is really special, that is about 5 years or more we didn’t go with whole family. Still remember when I was young, we always walk there from home, or go with bike, my father need to fetch us for few time one by one.

The night in the bus station to prepare go back to KL, the bus station was very crowed like I ever saw before. Our car cannot get inside, and so my parents leave me at road side and I walked in there. That is a temporary bus station, is dark in the midnight without any lamp post, cars and buses in and out. I knew that my parents won’t leave me like that, I knew they sure will park their car far away and walk back to the station. When I was in the bus and waiting for the bus to move, my father call me with this happy voice, asked me what is the plat number for the bus. I’m worry 2 of you, I scare you all fall down or any. Finally they able to find my bus and gave me a goodbye gesture outside the bus. This is not the first time, and not the last too, my tear almost falling, I feel like I don’t want to go back. Sorry and I love you all.

Most slanting part in the journey

At the top of the hill

Today, my ex WD colleagues and their team of friends went to Broga Hill, 45mins drives from PJ to there. A very happy and joyful trip with them, they are funny, making joke all the while. We took about 40mins to the top of the hill, just a distance before the top of the hill is very slanted, is between 60 to 70 degree incline from normal. All manage to do it, and reach the top at around 6.20am, saw the sunrise. I woke up at 3am, we departed at 4am, phew. After the hiking, we went to a temple nearby, and spent some time there, finally back to Jusco in Cheras for lunch and back. I enjoy that, do invite me next time if any activities, there are total 11 of us. Next trip is planned to Seremban in October.

Handsome and cool :P

Just receive my picture from my friend for Sabah trip, and together with the photo for last week in Tasik Perdana, another nice and peaceful trip, quite nice in the morning. Thank for bringing me around even it is short.

Pulau Manukan

Pond in Tasik Perdana

I am getting older 23 July 2011

Again, about 1 month I leave here after my last post for Genting trip. Start to become busy for my work, getting stress with it and get sick for few times recently. Last few days my stomach pain, that make me think of the scene in Penang for internship last 2 years. The feeling at the moment is very helpless, and start to think of where can I get a doctor in the midnight, start to worry because the painfulness of it I can rate it up to 4 stars (with 5 is the max). If I in home, I will knock my parents’ and my father will send me to clinic, even with motorbike in the midnight, yes, my father did it before. He is the most powerful father in the world, or my world.

My mood and feeling is on and off recently. Sometimes really got think to give up, or even talk with this topic with you, but when the time I see you, all the question or blame will turn null, turn to feel that why I cannot be more considerate and so on. Sometimes I got my own difficulties, and I know yours too. Things we seeing is different even I said I understand yours, but it still is from my angle. Weekend is quite terrible for me if you say you not free for the week. The feeling is like need to wait for another 7 days, stay in the room will let me feel lonely. If you can notice it, you will found that I start to go out for movie alone in weekend. Maybe I need to adapt in faster pace for independent.

Is all between toleration and complaint. 2 of these one is like a demon and another one is like an angel in my body. When the power of one is overcome the other, my mood shift. Sometimes I care too, 2 plus years, what else can I do for it? Even our first trip in next time I still vague whether you able to make it or not. I not sure you will read my blog or not, I know I should give you more time, but I really need to settle down. I’m not a perfect one, I’m getting older.

Last, dedicate this song to who visit my blog. 因为爱情， Because of Love

1st outing- Genting, sweet home 11 Jun 2011

First outing, trip to genting with total about 20 of us from 3 gangs, Penang, KL and Singapore gang. Is a nice trip even all of us almost 1 year didn’t meet after the our convocation in last year August, but surprisingly the feeling is still there, making fun and crazy like what we did in campus last time. I call it surprisingly because it is quite easy for me to get someone to unfamiliar even we are closed before, but this time the feeling is good. Thanks for the trip and this at least paint some colour to our boring life.

Crazy one remind crazy, quiet one remain quiet… not much different. Feeling sad to know that one of my best friend start to smoke because of socialize, and this is what we didn’t hope to see it. Update each other what there are currently doing and how was their life over the year… all the best to my friends there in their career and see you all next year, for the moment plan to get it in Pulau Tioman or somewhere in island.

Outstation to Penang for one week, exhibition in Pisa. This time I start to enjoy the trip, and getting closer my colleagues, eat all the nice food in Penang, even I’m from somewhere not far from the Penang island, but also go crazy like them. Hopefully the feeling will continue and I can adapt more better than before. Before check out

After the outstation, going back to hometown. My very cute mum still keep some ‘bachang’ for me, and go out for father day dinner, with my bro new car, again the nice and warm family day. I like the feeling now, not know whether is because of I seldom go back, I feel that the environment of my home becomes more warmth and sweet, no more quarrelling from bro and sister, no more nagging from mum and hot temper from daddy… the feeling is like everyday on CNY, haha.