Since when I become like this? 19 April 2010

Today is the due date for us to submit the FYP, but I had submitted my FYP thesis early because I want to attend the job fair in KL and an interview in PJ. Charlie bug bite me, a lot of wound and scar on my body, it is pain especially when the time I want to bath and wipe my body.

Vague, I am loss in the middle of the road before I graduate. I work hard always, but at last I am standing alone here, that is a bit cruel for me, but this is good for myself? Maybe it is the answer if I see it in rational point of view. Start from convincing myself, to everyone around me, without a single valid reason, but a lot question mark on you, you and yours mind. Thank you for those not asking too much and decided to support me.

Smile to myself, smile to you. Sad to myself, but I don’t show you.

Brought a lot of things for the trip last weekend, and seems that the luxury mall and street are not suitable for me, people looking at me, maybe my face got something. I don’t feel shame, because I just be myself, but I still searching the place that can accommodate me. 3 nights with 3 different place I stayed, searching a shelter in the rain, an old telephone booth, feel lucky, but the strong wind blow the rain to me, asking for help, nervous and try to escape. At last, I smile, try to relax, no point for me to get nervous, wet ma wet lu, why so care about it. I had forgotten how many bus, train and taxi I had taken, all place, location and even name is new to me. I not know where it comes all the courage, because I am timid all the time, since when a little kampung boy becomes like this, maybe there is a mark, just I not aware. 

Still looking for the answer from the company, friend said I didn’t it well, but the competitor got experience, I loss to experience. Haha, there is no such thing, I admit I still got a lot to improve, but at least thank you for your support, maybe there is still a chance for me before I get the formal answer from them. Eh? What I am persist in? Helo? Don’t ask me, I don’t know. 

better man, from robbie william