Thing to let go 24 November 2011

First time I hesitate to make decision to go back, I’m not prepared to face it now, I know I cannot avoid that, but now is not the right time. Forgive my timid…

A deep talk after a month, start to realize that most of the time I just look thing from my own angle, but you just same like me, nothing different. We growth from different background, have different kind of life for more than 20 years… but at least I finally can make my own conclusion, satisfy with it, and maybe this is the time to let it go.

I try to put you down, it start and goes not too perfect, but I wish it have a nice ending. Thank for this one month, time for me to have a great start, and more mature, hopefully that is not too late.

Goodbye my love ED

Last, just realize that no one actually reading my blog, that’s good but if still any of you seeing this, can drop me a sms: BLOG to my handphone, and come to claim your present. :)

Old song 22 November 2011

Found a file with more than 10gB of old song inside it. Is not really too old, just about 5 years back, the time I start to have my own personal computer, start to have all my song in the pc. Not really understand the lyric that time, that are all my favorite song that I almost play it every night when I in my hostel in University. Life all the time is pretty simple, I’m so innocent, pure and virgin… my mind is simple as well, won’t mess up like now…

You break my silent, I just a boy that time, I not know the rule of the game, I step in and I seeking for protection, I am so brave at that time… I hate you, you can play with other, but please don’t play with a boy which don’t know how to play the trick, that is his whole life, you cannot effort that.

The boy dead finally, he become a man.

A old song recall all my memories. I hate you, and I hate myself too, I want to go back to where I come from.

I thought I already recover, but in real I’m not, who am I. I cry again.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WjchKArQ-yw

now I understand the lyric

Weekend 20 November 2011

Sometime weekend can be too terrible to me if I not have friends to hang out around. Luckily this weekend was not too bad, as yesterday join my ex colleagues to play badminton in Sri Petaling and after that heading to Subang for fried laksa.

If weekend I don’t have activities for 2 days then I rather I go to work, else I will feel that I loss of direction, my center of gravity, doing thing with no purpose. I want make thing simple, I want to know more friends, I want to have more healthy activities and friends to hang out, I don’t want spend more than 50% of my time in front of my computer, I want friends to share my happiness, I like to smile, but sometime I forgot to smile, I miss my family, but I make them worry.

With so many ‘I want’, this make me feel greedy? And this contradict with the first ‘I want’, want thing to be simple? For me is not, that is all the basic need of live. Of course, I willing to pay and give for what I want, nothing is free. Life kinda meaningless without someone to control me on this and that, too much freedom and leisure will make me sink. Good night.

Bumbu Bali 13 November 2011

Last Friday me and my WD gang of friends went to Bumbu Bali, an Indonesian restaurant in Puchong to celebrate one of my friend’s birthday. We departed from my office at 6.30pm and took about 1 hour plus to reach there, because the traffic along LDP is too jam. From left: Me, Yip, Nick, Chai, Alex, Ng, Lam, Cheah, Cheah How

The food there actually is nice, quite big the portion and of course with the kind of environment and service, it cost you quite beautiful too. About 12 of us in total, with the nice date, 11.11.11, we spent our time nicely there, with joy and fun.

Some time will think of WD is our nightmare, but if without that, we won’t have this gang of good friends, I like this group of friends. Happy birthday for the birthday girl.

Thing in my mind 6 November 2011

What is in my mind recently, I have the feeling of stability, my mind is more calm if compare to before, but my life still about the same like previously. That is something different, but I feel that I’m adapting even better and braver that I expected.

Time is my best friend, I hope that everyone is fine and didn’t get hurt with the decision I made. Let the thing flow, I flipped my new chapter and I have to responsibility to write it a good story, with the happy ending.

With one of my favorite song that together with me in previous few weeks, always helps to calm me down. ANGEL

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7CbAjj80NIM

Kitchi Miao is a Monster 27 October 2011

Everyone treat kitchi miao like a monster, finally I completely rupture in the moment, please give me a way to walk through, a momentum to breath.

Decision-made 26 October 2011

I seldom make decision, up from the small decision from decide what we going to have lunch to any big decision that will cause a great move or change of my life. Few big decisions I made before, and today seem I have it another one. It is not difficult to know that I had struggled quite a moment inside myself before the day, and looks back to some small previous incident like what happen to my motorbike last week, I found that myself actually loss of control, cry not only direct to the case happened, but a lot of link crossed together, from my personal problem, family issue and more… cause me to crumble. I’m looking for sense of security, the feeling of home… that I hope that I can have it from…

I’m sorry that I’m too selfish and immature, and my last minutes of hesitation. Way to learn and I promise I will take care of myself in the world that I have worry with. Feeling loss, loss of centre of gravity… I cannot concentrate for the moment.

I will learn to become a better one, but before I adjust and find back myself, it is not fair to anyone. Take a break for myself and you, I guess I will very soon come out from there, … Hug and help me to take a good care of yourself, thank you.